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Archive for October, 2009

Guilt or Why Can’t I Shop?

I need new clothes. Really bad. I can’t shop.

Here’s the problem.

I have a guilty conscience about having things. Consider that I everything that I own fits into a 12′ x 10′ bedroom, and the flowover fits in the trunk of the PT. I also have a cat, Hugo. This is all that I have in the entire world. Nothing sitting in storage in mom’s garage. I didn’t rent a storage unit. I can fit every item of clothing that I own into one very large suitcase… not including shoes. Basically, I have nothing to feel guilty about.

I’m snapping at people who complain that their lawn service didn’t show up, or that they wish they had the ultra football package on their digital cable (sorry Beth). I keep going back to thinking that I have too much.

Tonight I went to Target, knowing that I need socks and a few shirts. I came home with… nothing. I felt so guilty that I’m able to go to a huge store like Target and pick out 60 different kinds of cereal. I felt guilty that there were different kinds of medicine available, right at my fingertips. I felt so bad that I didn’t think twice about putting $25 of gas in my car, and I want to go and visit my niece this weekend, and I might have to shell out more money… this money could be going toward sponsoring a child in the ghetto, or feeding a family.

I really needed to buy those socks.

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